Sunday, March 27, 2016

Alpha Blue, My RPG Sleaze Satisfier



While the rest of the community flocked to FFG's Star Wars line, I decided to walk behind the movie store partition that smelt like urine and shame, to take a look at some of the good stuff. The naughty stuff.

Enter Alpha Blue and its high octane, sleazy adventure: Girls Gone Rogue.

Zardoz mankinis, space pistols that look like they were made by ACME, fishbowl helmets, psychic orgasm machines, mind condoms,  kinky pleasure bots, and space station brothels that are so vulgar and hedonistic Mos Eisley would blush. Venger Satanis doesn't fuck around and I dare say he has outdone himself with this one.

Ian Christiansen, my resident RPG drug dealer, set me up with some of that Alpha Blue jenk and I got hooked. Four games later, my mind is racing with ideas of running my own sleazy campaigns. Green alien women, metallic bras, and neon drinks. Oh my!

There are a couple of things that make Venger's game excellent, and I don't think I would be doing them justice unless I addressed each in kind. So to kick off my drunken reflection, lets start with something near and dear to my humble lizard brain; the system and the dice!

Alpha Blue uses a d6 system where a result of one through three is some kind of failure and four through six is some kind of success. The better suited you are to a task, the more d6s you get to roll to determine your result (you take the highest value). In combat, damage dice explode on 6s, which leads to some pretty compelling upsets. Just ask Ian, who's NPC got Bob Barkered by laser nunchuks, Happy Gilmore Style. The aggressor in question got like 6 or 7 explosions in a single damage roll.

This roll structure plays well off of the character creation which is set up to make you spectacular, deviantly kinky, and all shades of fucked up. At a glance, the options might seem to be sparse, but the special table, mutation table, and alien table add a deceptively high level of diversity and customization. We are talking Tim Burton levels of depravity and strangeness, like space dwarf assassins made out of gelatin. This gives the GM a good range of characteristics to judge your task competencies upon. Since Venger emphasized ease of use with random tables and a well laid out process, you can pump characters out amazingly fast.

And those characters will be memorable! Alpha Blue draws upon a vast data receptacle of sleazy sicfi knowledge to help you blend your character into the setting. My most recent character, who took part it Girls Gone Rogue, came onto the scene wearing leather that looked like it belonged to a He-Man cosplayer that was a little bit too much into BDSM and the color orange. Add that to the fact I was a dwarf and was carrying a Chewbacca rip-off bowcaster, and the picture really starts to come together.

This leads into one of the funnier parts of Alpha Blue, which are the fetish and sexual fantasy tables, possessing such gems as characters who get off to "clowns, carnivals, and circuses" or "Humanoid Furniture." This fostered some funny events in  our games, and believe it or not, even helped my last character avoid catching a maliciously engineered STD whose purpose was to shanghai us into service, like Snake Plissken in Escape From New York.

Now that I think of it, most of the tables created by Venger are grade A bad ass. Take one of my personal favorites, the "look what fell out of the time warp" table, whose results contain hilarious and bizarre shit like: a giant plastic donut, Don Knotts and Tim Conway, the Harlem Globe Trotters, the Kool-aid Man, and the Flying Dutchman. And don't even get me started on some of the more perverse tables, like "walking in on people" or "venereal diseases". Something juvenile in me can't help but grin when I read the name of a drug titled, "Thunderfuck Uranus."

The game has its eccentricities, but believe me when I testify, it adds to the charm. I recently heard the game got pulled from OBS stores while it was under review, which really rubbed me the wrong way. If you aren't familiar with the controversy, you can put your mind at ease. Cooler heads prevailed and the game has been white listed, supposedly giving it some kind of amnesty from more attempts at censorship by the angry puritan types.

Unfortunately, I dealt with my fair share of schmucks over the issue. Ian Christiansen and I admin a large Facebook group based around gaming online and general RPG discussion. When the subject of Alpha Blue made its rounds to our little slice of paradise, it was met by the types of 'liberal bigotry' I use to write off as Fox boogeyman stories. But of course, it is real, and it is as non-negotiable as ever. This is the camp that are fans of "thought crime" and think that it is morally punishable (you may know them as SJWs). Well, as is usually the case in our group, we dolled out warnings for the bullshit and handled our business accordingly. We got called rape apologists a few times, but that is pretty much par for the course when you are dealing with people who covet drama like water in a desert.

This tangent of course brings me to another point: Alpha Blue is honest about its sleaziness and it stays trues to its vision. Is it dirty, perverted, and deviant? Yep. Does the game include a villainous device called a rape machine? An entire paragraph. Don't I find this morally reprehensible? No and people who don't like it can go fuck themselves for trying to impose their wills on me. In general, the world could do with a little less judgmental attitude.

The bottom line is, despite what the naysayers may lead you to believe, Alpha Blue is good fun. The games I got to play in were action packed romps through hilarious satire, sexy throwbacks, and legitimately compelling science fantasy/fiction. Ian Christiansen, our Game Master, did a great job bringing Venger's vision to life. I can't wait to GM it myself next week.

If you read this and fist pumped, "preach it brother man preach it," you should check the game out. I highly recommend it!












Thursday, March 24, 2016

Why Lamentations of the Flame Princess Made Me Love the OSR



I haven't been at this gig for long, and truth be told, my fancies have changed dramatically in a short amount of time. My initial interest was in new school games: 4th edition d&d, 5th edition d&d, fate, cortex, cortex +, storyteller, and a slew of hipper indie games like stalker, fiasco, and the like. Save for a few outliers, like Palladium (I blame the esoteric sorcerers of the OSG for that nugget), I would have considered myself a heavily story oriented gamer.

Like any ailment untimely thrust upon the innocent, its grasp weakened and I eventually healed. I had fun tinkering with the concepts and participating in the ad nausea armchair philosophy surrounding it, but as I opened myself up to different styles of gaming, I began to realize there was something beautiful in the simplicity and honesty of the old school. It was brutal, it was fun, and it promised to slay pretentiousness. Now, in a lot of ways, I would describe it as bullshit light.

My first jaunt into the OSR or old school gaming was through Lamentations of the Flame Princess. From my early days of Youtube, I remember a deeply disturbed sorcerer named Tim Haper (love you Tim), who preached about a weird fantasy game full of maiming traps, sadistic dungeons, and the glory one can only feel when they realize 4th level is the end game. At the time I gawked at it, but the idea stayed with me. Maybe it was the crazy metal image that the name invoked; I don't really know.

Jumping forward a couple of years later, the Flame Princess decided it was time to blow up, triggered by a post Ian Christiansen made on the One Shot Group. I remembered Tim's passion for it and knew right away I needed to get a piece of the action. I downloaded the free artless rules and rolled up my first character, the specialist.

I was shocked at how simple character creation was. There wasn't any Frankenstein's monster bullshit going on here. It was pure archetype baby! Races were straight up classes and the mechanics pretty much limited you to a single style of play based on your choice. Of course, I had my reserves about what this would mean in practice, but I was more than willing to give it a shot.

Character creation really enlightened me to something about LotFP; you don't need to stew and fuss over a character concept or backstory to play an RPG. You can very easily, and to great effect, grab a character, jump into the game, and let the circumstances and your actions paint a vivid picture for you. And now, I attack you with my first major heresy: I prefer quick character creation with less backstory.

Alright guys and gals, before you start collecting wood for the pyre, I want you to hear me out. What playing old school games has taught me is that it is what you do that defines a character. When everything about the game is lethal, sadistic, and out to get you, the story writes itself and characteristics and psychology arise from simply making choices and putting yourself in danger. What is more compelling? Telling somebody your character concept is based around self sacrifice and talking about the stuff he saw as a child, or jumping in front of a spike trap to save the party's wizard, taking an 80 mph missile of conical doom square to the chest? I think we both know the answer.

And that is another thing LotFP turned me onto; lethality. I think it is easy to fall into a pit trap in story based games, at least for me it was, where it is hard to kill a player because they feel entitled to an outcome or are invested to the point it would cause drama. Which leads me to heresy number 2: character death is hilarious, and when done in epic ways that show a character's personality or faults, easily makes for the best moment of any session.

In the last game of LotFP I played in, we went to a wizard tower where one of the characters freed 'an entity' from a circle made of salt. The rest of the party pretty much wrote it off as a demon or other sinister force, but he was certain he could make a deal with it. They hashed out a contract, he broke the containment ring, and immediately was destroyed with world shattering magic that chopped him up 10,000 times finer than any cuisine art could have dreamed. I laughed myself silly, and his frustration made it even funnier. When we all stopped to think about it, OF COURSE he should have been murdered for trying it. OF COURSE!

And that is perfect in my mind. His character, who was a grave robbing thief, meddled with something he couldn't understand because he was greedy. It ended up biting him in the ass, which is poetic justice if you ask me.

Which brings me to my next point about the old school feel: dungeons are unapologetic for what they are and what they deliver. They aren't stupid or silly, nor are they loot receptacles to be plundered at your leisure. They are dangerous as all fuck, and when you find one, you know going down into their depths is like looking a hungry Cerberus in its salivating mouth.

When it comes to LotFP, its dungeon modules are hands down the best I have ever seen. You are surrounded by context, everything can be interacted with, the components of the dungeon have real purposes, and there is logical consistency that makes you feel like this could actually be a place in the world. To state it simply, they bleed atmosphere. These dungeons accomplish a tremendous amount and they tend to do it in a way that is highly usable.

A lot of the adventure modules or dungeons I have been accustomed to, mostly from the newer stuff, are utter trash comparatively. They spend so much time bogging you down with fluff and crap about the writer's precious NPCs and meta plot, that there is no substantive meat to use when it comes time to run the game. It is more like, here is some story themed crap to texture onto your adventure. You would have been equally as well off creating your own plans from the ground up, and if you would have went that route, you would have known it better because it would have been your own brain child.

There is none of that with Lamentations (mostly). You can give a module a once through and be ready to run a memorable session that will feel like it was prepped for. That is the quintessential point of modules. How have these other mooks gotten is so wrong?

Which brings me to my third heretical jab: old school is function over form. It feels like Raggi really gets the concept of creating 'content that is usable' and 'that works in practice'. The books Zak S. have done for him take this to the highest conceptual level, being works that are devoid of even the faintest hint of filler or uselessness. I can honestly say, I felt like I learned more useful things from Zak's A Red and Pleasant Land and Vornheim than I did reading dozens and dozens of books from the new school.

Here is a classic example of what I am talking about: person A on a forum says, "I just got the new popular story game book. Good layout, good ideas, and good fluff." This always makes me cringe a little. Fluff is simply filler, but certain individuals have cast some kind of dark magic ritual to associate it with being setting essential. Here is what I say to that; check out a Zak S. product, where setting information is usable directly from the book and relevant to every session. It is designed to be mechanically and atmospherically applicable and literally begs to be used, and guess what guys? That's why it isn't fluff. It has a fucken use. Go figure. That makes it a far cry from the arcane babble that passes as setting information (fluff) in a lot of products. The favorite hobby of the duke's third son who lives in the Outlands has little baring on my game, and if it did, I could have riffed it up myself. No paid consultation required!

Something else about the old school feel I really love is its seeming lack of pretension when it comes to why we play games. The style asks, why not for entertainment? I don't think there is anything wrong with people who play games for other reasons, but it can become exceptionally annoying when somebody tries to talk down to your pastime like blondie did to Ben Affleck in Good Will Hunting. Remember that scene at the 'not your typical' Harvard Bar? It kind of makes you want to smack the intellectual smugness off their face. Which brings me to my final heresy of the day: old school games don't shame the shit out of you for playing them the way you want.

Of course, this goes further than just the material. I find it is true of the community as well. I felt like I use to spend more time bullshitting about philosophy of gaming than I did actually playing games. It wasn't good feeling philosophy either; closer to an unsettling passive aggressive slap fight. If I need Hellenistic dialogues to tell me why I should or shouldn't say yes to a player's in game requests, I am cashing out! Fuck me ;)

In closing, I plan on picking up some more OSR titles soon: a whole heap of LotFP books I dont have, Dark Albion, Dungeon Crawl Classics, White Star, and Zak's book coming out titled Maze of the Blue Medusa.

I would love to hear recommendations on what else I should get. If you suffered to this point, you probably have a good idea of my tastes!